National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month.

We have strong testimonies of adoption and want to share a few adoption-esque thoughts, quotes, songs, info, etc. throughout the month.

We love adoption.

One of the best ways that Cal and I like to describe how adoption makes us feel is peaceful.

After months and months of feeling helpless, I remember the extreme peace that came over us when we made our decision to adopt.

Peace. Pure and simple, peace.

Although our little family is still Cal and I, and we have not been part of an adoption story yet, we still have such a love for this process, and will be sharing our love for adoption throughout this month.

Simply Beautiful

Saturday brought such lovely weather and beautiful colors.

So we packed up a lunch and headed over to the picnic tables at Bridal Veil Falls.



It was Simply Beautiful.

10 years ago today...

I remember what I said to you when I asked you.

I remember how you answered me, and waited behind the bushes in my front yard to see my response, and then how you asked me if I was going to invite you in, or not, to have a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

I remember how when I got to your house to pick you up, you were just wearing a tank top, waiting to put on your shirt that matched mine.

I remember how you smelled that night, because it was the same cologne that I kept for you while you were in Honduras. I would sneak a smell every once in a while, just to reminisce.

I remember how you grabbed the handle of the car when I almost wrecked us because just a couple weekends earlier, you had gotten in a little fender bender.

I remember how you opened my door for me, every time.

I remember that smile...and those eyes.

I remember how you danced. Oh, how you dance.

I remember your sincereness and how I knew my feelings for you before this date even happened.

I remember how I felt safe and secure and so trusing the whole night I was with you.

I remember how I wanted so bad for you to give me a kiss that night, but you were such a gentleman and left me with the sweetest hug in the world.

And with that hug, I knew.

I just knew.

Help Me W.A.N.D.A.

Help! Help! Me W.A.N.D.A.!

Our phones have a GPS system. It really is such a neat feature and we actually use it. A lot.

W.A.N.D.A. as 'she' is called has helped us reach many destinations. All we have to do is type in the location, either the address or the name, and she finds it for us, and then tells us step by step how to get there.

She is the kind of 'gal' that interrupts the conversation, and in her all knowing voice announces to, "proceed .5 miles and turn left", or "You are now off track" and then immediately announces that you need to "Make a 'U' turn", and as soon as your 'U' turn has been completed, she happily announces that 'you are now on track'.

'She' knows where everything is.

In fact, the very first time we used W.A.N.D.A., she really saved us. We were up in SLC for the day, watching Jack while Aly was really sick and in the hospital. Cal, Jack and I all got in the car and were headed to McDonalds, Jack's choice. He wanted a McDonalds that had a play place. Easy enough we thought, they are all over the place, and don't all of them have a play place?

Nope. Not all of them.

Ol' W.A.N.D.A. took us to at least three McDonald's that did not have a play place. Three. I was so happy that she knew where more than three were. This is when she got her name. Cal named her. We decided that since she had such a big role in that day, and especially that outing, that she needed a name.

Her name? Well, Cal says he was acting like a politician and inventing the acronym first, then searching for words that fit with it, when he came up with this...

Worldwide And National Directional Assistant.

The other night, we were headed off to watch T.J.'s football game. After stopping for hot coco and a snack, we were on our way. I let W.A.N.D.A. know where we were going and as soon as she got the info, she was letting us know to 'veer left to enter the freeway'.

We exited just as she instructed and headed down a long, dark, cold and scary road. Just as I was starting to question W.A.N.D.A.'s instructions, Cal said, "Do you think that W.A.N.D.A. is going to take us out to an empty field and hurt us?" Ha!

We both agreed that even if that is where she was leading us, we would probably follow her every direction to get us out to that empty field!

She ended up taking us straight to the game, no pit stops, and no scary, dark, empty fields. I am so glad that she got us there, becuase you know what?

We were there to see T.J. make the very last tackle of the game. All. By. himself.

And

Because this is what Cal looked like as we watched that game.


Thank you W.A.N.D.A.!
Thank, Thank you W.A.N.D.A!

Whisked Away

For Me, it all started on a Friday Morning.

Cal told me that he might be coming home late that evening from work. He knew that he had some work coming in to the office that might keep him, and warned me that if he had a new batch of information coming in that he might be late. I was thoroughly disapponted and was preparing for an evening while Cal was at work.

Mid way through the day, I got a text, it was my Handsome letting me know that he did in fact get his information, and would in fact be working late. I was even more disappointed.

Right then and there I gave myself a little pep-talk. When Cal got his job, we knew that during his busy season, he would have some later working nights. Nights where he might not be home for a couple hours after his regular arrival, so, I was just telling myself that it was just the beginning of the busy season and that there would be a couple more nights like this before the years end.

During my pep-talk, I realized another thing...It had been a rushed morning, and I totally forgot to pack Cal a lunch. I shot back a text about how sorry I was that I forgot to get him a lunch that morning and now he was going to be there for dinner. I had planned that I would get dinner after work and make a visit to his office so that he could at least have a nice dinner, and then get back to work.

No sooner than I pressed send on my phone did I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and there was my Handsome. Standing in my cubicle telling me to get my things and we would be on our way.

What?

I was thinking that maybe he decided to just come drop by because he knew that I would be disappointed and sad. I was thinking maybe he just decided to come see me and we could go to lunch and then head back to work.

I finished a few things on my work list for the day and we were off. We got in the car, leaving our other car at my office and headed out for a day of shopping. After visiting several stores, we were hungry and ended up at my favorite, Costa Vida. After I thoroughly enjoyed my fish tacos, and Cal his pork burrito, we were trying to decide where to head to next.

Cal opted to go back to my office to get our other car. As soon as we got there and I got in our other car, I got another text from Cal, it said, "check your calendar".

Our calendars on our phones sync together. Each time Cal enters something, it adds it to my calendar and visa versa. I opened my calendar and it said at 4:00 Check into the Inn at Snowbird. At this point I was following behind My Handsome, I called him on the phone and while talking, he was looking through his rear view mirror, telling me that we were heading to Snowbird to stay the night.

Cal had plans for Phil to be taken care of by my sisters, so we headed home to pack an overnight bag, say bye to the pup, and we were heading up Little Cottonwood Canyon.

Our ride up was beautiful! It started raining the second we got in the canyon, which so happened to be turning all shades of reds, oranges and yellows! It was absolutely perfect.



As soon as we reached The Inn, we headed up to our room to be able to see the view of the thunderstorm better. This was the thunderstorm of all thunderstorms!

Our room had a balcony and there we sat, watching the bright light of the lightening and at almost the exact same second the lightening hit, listening to the claps of the thunder. It was amazing! It was so beautiful, the smells of autumn, the fresh rain, the colors, everything, it was absolutely lovely.


Seriously though, is this not the most beautiful view ever? Our room was right on the edge of the mountain and it was gorgeous!

After the rain slowed down a bit and the sun started to peak out, there was a beautiful rainbow making it's way across the mountain!


Our night consisted of a fancy dinner out, a surprise around every corner, something tucked here, and wrapped up and placed there, relaxing on the balcony watching the stars, snuggled up in a blanket, and drinking hot coco and cider.

While nestled up to Cal's neck, watching shooting stars, listening to a little Jack Johnson, sipping my hot coco, I was thinking that it was perfect. What a perfect day. Then Cal said, "Don't you feel like you are in some type of utopia?" Yes, I do Handsome! Yes. I. do!

Our next morning was full of even more surprises. A fancy breakfast out on a patio, and a lift ride up to the top of Snowbird.





I came to find out that it all started for Cal about a month before when he started to plan how he was going to whisk me away.

It was such a beautiful weekend. One that I loved every second of, one that I will always look back on with such great memories of how Cal planned, kept secret, and then took me into the mountains so that we could just enjoy each other and get away from the world. It was like we were in our own Utopia.

And it was, our own Utopia.

Tug-of-War

Sometimes things get crazy around here!

Especially when Phil wants to play tug-of-war with a toy that he just won't quite let go of!

Work Party List

Today My Grandma turned 81 years old.

It was also her 61st Wedding Anniversary.

Her Birthday wish was a little list.
Written on her 'Work Party List' were things like:

Move the vanity down stairs.
Fix the bolt on the chest
Edge the lawn
Pick the apples on the tree
Hang up Grandpa's Hats

You know, little things that she wanted done.

We all took the opportunity to finish her 'Work Party List' for her Birthday Wish.





After the list was completed and our BBQ was devoured, we gathered around our Grandma and sang her a Happy Birthday Song, complete with harmony!


She blew out the candles on her homemade chocolate cake, and we all enjoyed it with homemade vanilla ice cream.



Happy 81st Birthday Grandma!

Saturday Photos and Feelings

Letting Love Lead

A few weekends ago, Cal and I had the opportunity to attend the 2009 Families Supporting Adoption National Conference, entitled 'Letting Love Lead'.

It was such a neat experience that I told Cal that it would take me a couple of days to wrap my head around everything that I heard and learned.

When Cal and I started down the road of Infertility, we did a lot of research. We wanted to know everything we could know about what we were involved with. We spent many hours trying to learn everything we could, we researched with books, asked lots and lots of questions to our doctors, and researched online. We wanted to know the most up to date medical information and medications and learn all we could about what we might be going through.

We feel the same way about Adoption. As soon as we started down this road, we started researching. We want to know all we can and have our minds and our hearts opened. We talk with people, ask questions, visit websites, learn about adoption laws, go to conferences, attended required 'training classes', and pray, a lot.

While attending this conference I was moments away from tears most of the first day.

I once heard it said that you 'gain a testimony of adoption', and Cal and I both agree that through this continual learning process we have done just that, and will continue to do so.

There were numerous classes that we got to choose from and attend. The topics ranged from 'Adoptive Parenting' to 'Adoption Advocacy: Sharing your Passion for Adoption' to 'Coping with a failed placement', and there were even some birth parent panels.

With so many different situations and obstacles that can happen with adoption, we feel that it is so important for us to stay informed, and attending these conferences is such a great way to do just that.

Most of what I learned at the conference are things that I want to keep nestled in my head and heart, and conversations and thoughts that are much too special to me to share with anyone but Cal. I do, however, feel that it is super important for me to share one thing that I really, really loved from the conference, and that Cal and I feel is so important for others to understand about our journey in adopting.

One of my favorite quotes was from the Keynote speaker, Troy Dunn, he said, "It is through sacrifice that we bring joy into each others lives."

Although Cal and I have not been chosen by a birth mom yet, we pray for 'Our Birth Mom' every single day. We pray that she knows that we love her. We know that it is through her sacrifice that we will have the joy of a child.

It is by her letting her heart and love lead her to the decision to place her child, that will bring us the joy of having a child, and let us give that child the opportunity to be with a forever family.

It is because of her.

And for that, we will be forever grateful.

There were moments in the conference that I will always remember.
It was such a neat experience learning new and interesting things about adoption, something that we have become very passionate about.

I love having the feeling of gratitude that I get when I think of how our babies are going to come to us. They will be brought into our lives from another Mother. One who is sacrificing part of her heart and is giving us part of her. One who is going to unselfishly make the decision of sacrifice to bring us joy.

What an amazing gift.

We will always remember this, and be grateful for the sacrifice that is going to be made for us.

Today

On what would be your 49th Birthday.

We want you to know that we love you, and we miss you. So much.

Shotgun

I love when this pup gets to ride shotgun.


He does not like to hang his head out the window and let his ears blow in the wind.

Nope!

He just likes to sit back and enjoy the ride right there in his seat!

Our conversation over dinner...

Tonight, while I enjoyed my halibut and Cal enjoyed his burger, our dinner conversation went a little something like this...

Cal said, "I miss our nephews!"

I said, "Me too!"

Now, seriously, are these not the most darling little faces, hands, and smiles you have ever seen?

We are missing these little guys so much!

Here

The other night as Cal and I left the Provo Temple, I was feeling completely overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed with Gratitude.

As Cal and I walked hand in hand to the car and stopped to snap a couple photos, I was so grateful for being 'here' in my life, with him.

For a while I have been thinking about being 'here', 'here' at this point of our lives. I have been thinking of the past, how it got us to where we are now...'here'.

A couple nights before we went to the temple, I heard a song. A song that in certain places really had me almost in tears. I stopped what I was doing, and just listened. It was late at night, and I wrote down the name of the song and who was singing it so that I could look it up the next day.

It was entitled Here by Rascal Flatts.

The words in this song seem so profound to me.

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

It's amazing what I let my heart go through
To get me where it got me
In this moment here with you
And it passed me by
God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding
What I never thought I'd find
I know now, there's a million roads
I had to take
To get me in your arms that way

Maybe it is my many thoughts about being at this point in our lives.

The point where we feel our family of two is finally moving in the right direction to becoming a family of three.

Maybe it is the fact that I am so, so grateful for where we are.

Maybe it is thinking of how we got 'here', to where we are.

Maybe it was leaving the temple, hand in hand with my Handsome.

But I was reminded again how exciting it is to me, and how much I love being here in my life, with my Handsome.

I love thinking of our future and what it might hold. What kind of special little spirits will come into our lives, and who will bring them there. I love wondering what they will look like, how they will act, thinking of the time that we will get to be parents. I love thinking that although our family might not be biological, it will be eternal.

But you know what? You know why I love it 'here'?

I love it because I am with Cal. I am doing it all with him. He shares my exact same thoughts, and feelings.

But most of all, I love being him and me. I love our life. I also love all the things that happened to get us 'here'. Because without those things, without all the things that have happened, we would not be 'here'. We would not understand the importance of the temple, and of loving each other with everything that we are.

Like the song said, 'I wouldn't change a thing'.

Because it got us 'here'.

And I love 'here'.

26 on the 26th

Happy 26th Birthday Handsome!
I love you with everything that I am.

Not Enough

Apparently, one bone at a time is not enough.


Phil rarely chooses only one bone from his toy baskets!

Silly Puppy!

We're...

(If you haven't seen the skit from SNL that the picture above is from, then sorry--both because it doesn't make much sense to you, and because you've missed a hilarious bit.)

The good news is that we've been approved by LDSFS. This means that we can be chosen by a birth mom. We are so excited to be done with all the paperwork and red tape. We don't know how long it will take for us to finally be chosen, but we are totally pumped that at least it's a possibility now.

You can check out our online profile here.

Instead of just a "waiting game", we are going to be as proactive as possible. One of the best ways to do this is to get the word out.

So, we want everyone we know, to tell everyone they know, that we're adopting.

We added a new button to our sidebar that is directly linked to our Adoption Profile.

We have felt so blessed as we have moved through this process and we know that we are on the right path for us to be able to grow our little family.

A Week Off

Whoever said that husbands couldn't blog is full of it. This post is by Calvin--and others have been too.

Anyway, at my new job at TaxHawk we're not as busy during the summer as we are towards the end of the year, so they give us the whole week of the 4th of July as a paid vacation. Cool huh?

Well, Whit and I have tried to take advantage of the time off. The first part of the week I was off to Youth Conference.

We saw Goblin Valley:


Made dutch oven pizza (thanks to the Tylers):


And hiked some narrows:


Plus we went rafting on the Green River but I didn't take any photos of that due to wetness.

Anyway, after I got back, we helped the Larsens move into their awesome new home. We even had enough time left in the week to pack up all our things, load up everything we would need, and take off, even to such far-flung realms like...

Deer Creek:


Heber:


At any rate, it was great to have a week off.

Divine Design

My mind has been on fathers so much lately, for numerous reasons, but the most important is that I am so totally in love with the man that will be the father of our children.

Cal and I have been filling out plenty of paperwork lately. All of our 'free' time is spent on trying to help us get to the point of parenthood. Parenthood is something that we will cherish, with all of our hearts.

I can't wait to see Cal be a Dad. I can't wait to see him with our children. I can't wait to see him honor his Priesthood by fulfilling his Divine role as the Father of our children.

Today at church, I was once again reminded of the part in The Family: A Proclamation to the World that talks about Fathers, it says;

'By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.'

What an awesome priveledge.

I have also really been reflecting on the teachings and love of my own Father.

After dinner with my family, we all got to sit together and honor my Dad. What an honor to be his daughter, and what an honor to have learned from him. I am grateful every day that he is my Dad, and that I am his daughter.

It is only by Divine Design that Heavenly father would 'lend us his children', as my dad said today, so that we could teach them the Gospel, protect them, cherish them, and love them. It will be so neat to be able to experience that, and watch Cal be a father.

He will be the best father!

Everyday I am grateful for the divine design that is fathers.

These Guys...

Moved to Illinois.

Cal and I are really, really sad.

Corey is getting his Master's Degree there.

It is a hard thing to know that your two most adorable nephews are going to be far far, or as Jack put it 'too far', away.



I will really miss Ash. Like really, really, a lot!

Although we are sad, we are so totally excited for them too.

What an adventure.

We miss them already!

Memorial Day Weekend

Our Memorial Day weekend started out, of course, with a trip to our favorite Secret Park.

Cal, Phil, and I got up early on Saturday morning to venture to The Beautiful Secret Park to have breakfast. With cantaloupe, kiwis, whole wheat bagels, apricots, and yes, even some cookies in hand, we were off to start our Memorial Day Weekend.

The pond was beautiful.

The ducks were out and about. They would just walk around the place, and then get back into the pond. Each time Phil was around, they would just start quacking and moving their wings around so fast, almost like they were warning each other that there was a problem coming their way.

Actually, maybe they just wanted him out of their pond!



We had so much fun at the park.


Later that night we watched what I deemed, "The Greatest Memorial Day Show around." It is called Taking Chance. It was a sweet, moving, emotional, and very touching show. I am pretty sure I was crying in the first 5 minutes. It was so good that we watched it Sunday night with my family as well.
It really fit with the feelings of the weekend, and honoring those that serve our Country so that we can enjoy the freedoms that we have. I don't ever, ever, want to take that for granted.

Memorial Day morning, we headed up to the cemetery with flowers in tow.
There was actually a program going on that morning to honor those that serve, have served, and continue to serve our Country. It was another great reminder and way to honor those that have died while preserving our freedom and also those that serve now, and continue to serve our Country.

We ended Memorial Day Weekend with a relaxing Dinner at Pizza Factory and conversations on the patio with My Dad, Mom, Audy and B.

We had a great Memorial Day Weekend.

My Dad's Dad

My Dad's Dad passed away on Easter Sunday. You see, he was my Grandpa, but did not exude any Grandfatherly characteristics. He was not very present in my Dad's life, or our lives. We grew up knowing about him, seeing him every once in a while, and knowing how he was, and who he was.

The way my Dad put it, was that he lived life according to him, and on his own terms.

Perfect description.

On Easter Sunday and the week following, I gained a new level of knowledge about my Grandpa. Attending his funeral was actually a neat experience for me. It made me really think, about life, love, family, our actions, and living life on our own terms and according to our own selves. I saw how that affected him, how it affects others, how it affected my Dad, his siblings, and the grandchildren. I saw the sadness in the faces of the ones who love him, and learned how to be, or more accurately, how not to be, because of him.

While my Dad's Dad was alive, I wondered about him. I felt sorry for him. I felt sorry that he missed out on my Dad. That he missed out on seeing him learn and grow. That he didn't get to see my dad make decisions, and help to teach him right from wrong. He wasn't there when my Dad graduated from High school or even College. He didn't get to see him be married, or watch him have children of his own. He never got to see my Dad teach us about the Gospel or about love, guidance and acceptance. He missed out on my Dad, and I feel sorry for him.

In his absence, my Dad learned how to be a man, a Dad, a man who honors his Priesthood, a man who is honest, diligent, a hard worker. A man who knows what is right, and teaches his children by example, something that my Dad never had.

The funeral was in Heber. We rode with my Parents and B. It was a neat day, one that I will remember, for numerous reasons.

I will forever remember the feelings of wanting to be enough to my family. Wanting to be there, wanting to participate in it all, wanting to support, wanting to love and learn, wanting to not miss a second of life with the ones I love.

I will never forget that my Dad's Dad taught me that it is more important to live for your family, than to live for anything else.

De-privatizing...

You may notice that our blog is no longer private. This is because we have a bit of news.

We are going to be adopting.

This is such an exciting step for us because we'll finally be able to start our family.

We hope our now-public blog might serve as a medium through which a prospective birth mother could get to know us.

We are working through the approval process with LDS Family Services and are really looking forward to what the future has in store for us.

Nifty Gadget: Eye-Fi

As a graduation present, I (Cal) got a cool little gadget from my wife that I have had my eye on for a while. It's called the Eye-Fi SD card:



Although the same size as any other SD card for your camera, this one packs the punch of Wi-Fi too! It was super easy to set up with our home wireless network and within minutes I was transferring photos wirelessly. Now, when we get home from an activity, all we have to do is turn on the camera and it automatically connects to the network, saves the new photos to a specified folder on the computer, then automatically uploads those new photos online to Picasa! On top of that, if the computer is off, it will still connect to the network and upload the photos to Picasa. Pretty nifty huh? Anyway, I can say like Kip that I love technology too:

Handy Man for Hire!

For the last week or so, Cal has come home sunburned, muddy, wet, and grass stained.
He has been hard at work for our Home Owners Association.

Fixing Sprinklers.

Digging trenches.

You know, doing the Handy Man thing.
And If I do say so myself, he is an awesome Handy Man!

BYU Adieu

This week was Cal's final week at BYU.

His Graduation ceremonies started Thursday afternoon with his Commencement Ceremony in the Marriott Center.

There were speeches given by BYU's President Samuelson, students, President Uchtdorf and Elder Nelson, songs sung and a couple of tears shed (by me of course).

[We hadn't even gotten to campus for the ceremonies and I was already teary eyed.]


Friday was the actual day of Graduation. It was a really neat day. One where I was very proud to be married to such a Handsome new graduate of BYU.






I am so proud of Cal, and all that he has accomplished in getting his degree. He has worked so hard, taken many tests, written and compiled many papers, assignments, flash cards, reminders, early morning study sessions, late evening study sessions [lets be honest here, ALL day study sessions], hours of time spent in math labs, talking with teachers, learning a new programming language, working on math problems that took hours and pages of work and solutions, and devoting the majority of his time to his studies and to being a student.


He never complained. He welcomed any challenge that came and could possibly come his way.

He was determined in every sense of the word.

Handsome, I can't possibly explain how proud of you that I am.

Congratulations!